Quite often disputes between married couples can arise due to their perception about how a specific event took place or about a set of facts. When the dispute gets so serious that it leads the couple to file a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage, how the parties perceive things can become a major roadblock to an amicable resolution of their divorce.
Our Florida Supreme Court Certified Mediators at Mediation of Coral Springs, Inc. understand the dynamics that exist between a couple who were once happily married and living together; and now are unable to even communicate with each other. While Mediation of Coral Springs, Inc. recognizes that there are two sides to every story, it has been our experience that those sides may change based upon changes in how they understand each other’s perspective.
Since mediation is in reality an assisted negotiation, understanding how the parties perceive certain aspects of their relationship and why they are getting divorced makes it more likely that Mediation of Coral Springs, Inc. can help the parties resolve their dispute. Both parties have to realize that mediation is not a venue for trying to determine the facts of “who did what” – but instead it is a dispute resolution process. Our Florida Supreme Court Certified Mediators commonly hear parties begin mediation by trying to focus on the past – “he or she did …”, but Mediation of Coral Springs, Inc. helps the parties change their focus to the future by considering what happens after the divorce is finalized.
Since it is clear that a settlement will not be reached unless both parties view that settling their dispute is in their best interest; Mediation of Coral Springs, Inc. also make sure that the parties recognize the risks of having a Judge finalize their divorce as opposed to trying to prove that their spouse did something wrong. We have found that it is beneficial to assist each spouse to understand (not agree with) the other spouse’s perspective because that way both spouse can understand the reasons why they have not been able to resolve their Florida Dissolution of Marriage matter. In doing so, Mediation of Coral Springs, Inc. routinely sees the parties change their positions as they understand the other spouse’s perspectives. The better understanding of perspective in a divorce case can help a spouse realize that there are ways to resolve the case without going through litigation.
At Mediation of Coral Springs, Inc., our Florida Supreme Court Certified Mediators have seen a number of cases where an understanding of where his or her spouse is coming from leads to a resolution that is palatable to both parties. For example, in one case the Husband learned at mediation for the first time that his Wife was fighting for a very high permanent alimony amount because she was worried about a monthly mortgage payment. The Husband had previously believed that the Wife’s alimony demands were fueled by a desire to punish him. By the Husband having a full understanding his Wife’s concerns, we were able to work out a Mediated Settlement Agreement that resolved all of the issues involved in their Dissolution of Marriage matter.
Sometimes it helps the parties resolve their dispute when they are able to see the big picture. If you have any questions about mediation, please contact Mediation of Coral Springs, Inc.